How Card Games Became Our Ultimate Relationship Ritual

My other half and I have this thing: we play card games. Notice I did not say board games because he is convinced those do not work with just two people. And honestly, for us, he is right. We started doing this during COVID when we were all locked down trying to figure out what to do with ourselves, and we just never stopped.

We love playing when we travel. Cards are easy to pack, easy to pull out anywhere, and honestly, we like playing while we are enjoying a glass of something. It is our thing.

Grey laptop with deep purple background with Age of Commentary Logo on the screen, donuts and coffee.

Tonight we were playing and let me tell you he handed me my head on a platter. Not a cute little loss. A full on why I am even here kind of loss. And then he got annoyed that I was slightly upset about it. Meanwhile, when I win or have a good night, he gets grumpy too. So apparently the rule is lose gracefully and win silently. Sure.

I do not think I am wildly competitive, but man it stings when you get your butt kicked. This is supposed to be fun. Something we do together instead of sitting on our phones or zoning out in front of the TV. But after four straight losses the urge to quit is real. I refuse to though because in my head this is bonding time. Even if that bonding time includes me wanting to throw the deck across the room.

To keep the peace, we set a rule. We play until 8:30 PM. We usually start around 6:30 or 7. That way if one of us hits our limit there is an automatic out. Depending on how that last hand went we can keep going, switch to something else, or just take a breather from each other. Competitiveness is fine until it is not.

I will say this has made us closer. It gives us something to do when we do not feel like going out or dealing with the world. COVID tested everyone. Couples, roommates, friends. We all learned something about ourselves whether we wanted to or not. For us these ridiculous little games were part of that.

If you start getting genuinely angry and forget it is just a game, it is time to walk away. And if that feeling keeps showing up maybe talk to someone. Games have a way of showing who you really are. Especially when you are losing. And by losing, I mean getting your butt kicked.

I love playing cards with him. Sometimes it is a great game because I win. Sometimes it is just a nice evening. And sometimes it just sucks. He is the king of Canasta. Right now, we are playing Skip Bo which I can win. And when the whole family gets involved with the kids and my parents, or one or the other, it is UNO Flip or Phase 10.

If I am honest these card games have brought all of us closer. If you can find something that brings you joy, brings you together, and occasionally drives you nuts, it is worth it.

And seriously I got my butt kicked tonight.

Past Wanderings

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    Influencer Fatigue and the Search for Real, Honest Opinions

    Influencer. Content creator. Vlogger. Podcaster. Blogger.
    All these titles come with some kind of negative weight now, but “influencer” is the one that gets me the most. And the sad thing is, most of these people are probably great. It is just the handful who take things too far or get a little too comfortable being dishonest about what they are influencing that ruins it for everyone else.

    Influencer culture used to feel different. In the beginning, you would watch someone and think, yes, I could see myself owning that. It felt like the popular kid in school. Think Teen Witch when she wished to be the most popular girl and suddenly everyone copied her look. Or Mean Girls when Cady wore something and the whole school followed. We have always been influenced by someone. Jennifer Aniston and the Rachel haircut. NSYNC and the frosted tips. Shoulder pads. Yes, I remember them. We all do.

    But even then, we still had our own identities. Trends moved slower. You could keep up without feeling like you were losing yourself in the process.

    Now it feels like to stay in the loop you need accounts on a hundred different apps. There is an influencer, content creator, vlogger, or blogger for every possible niche. There are even people whose entire thing is too de-influence. It is noise on top of noise.

    An open laptop on an outdoor patio table displaying the Age comes with Commentary logo.

    So how do you find the truth in all of that?
    How do you find the real review, the honest suggestion, the “this is just my opinion, and you can agree or not” kind of content.

    You look past the flash.
    Like Billy Flynn sings in Chicago, it is all razzle dazzle. You have to look past the show and find the quieter corners of the internet. The ones that are not trying to blind you with ring lights and jump cuts.

    My favorite reviews are the ones where you can tell the reaction is real. I love when someone takes you along to buy something they have saved up for and are genuinely excited about. What I do not love are the massive luxury hauls that feel more like tax write offs than real life. But if that is what you enjoy watching, enjoy it. Truly. Just do not be fooled into thinking that is everyday life. Most of the time, it is not.

    And before anyone thinks I am lumping everyone together, I am not. You are reading my blog right now. I do not think every content creator, vlogger, podcaster, or blogger is like this. Influencers… well, the word itself is the issue. You are influencing people to buy what you buy and do what you do. That is the job.

    Most creators are actually trying to share something useful within their niche or their expertise. I follow plenty of them when I need information.

    So why this long monologue?
    Because I want you to know where I stand when I talk about a product, an experience, a trip, anything at all. When I share an opinion, that is exactly what it is. An opinion. What you do with it is entirely up to you.

    And since we are here, let me make one thing clear.
    I will never be on trend. I have never been. Jeans and classic tops are my comfort zone. Occasionally a dress, but always classic and timeless. If you ever catch me pushing something trendy, assume I sold out and feel free to call me out. Unless it is a trend coming back from the past. Equestrian style, western wear, Audrey Hepburn, Grace Kelly, Ginger Rogers. Those are nonnegotiable. I have been an equestrian for more than thirty years. I get a permanent pass.

    Commentary is my thing, giving you an opinion whether you want it or not.

  • The “I Don’t Know What Phase We’re In” Phase of Marriage

    My other half is cooking right now, and it smells wonderful. One of the reasons I married him is because he can cook. One thing I absolutely cannot do is cook. I’ve accepted this. I can make a solid breakfast, and that’s about where my culinary résumé ends.

    I’ve been thinking about marriage lately, and honestly, it’s hard. If someone tells you it’s not, they’re lying, and it’s a big one. We’re well out of the honeymoon phase and into the… I don’t even know phase. Truly, I couldn’t tell you what phase we’re in.

    An open laptop on an outdoor patio table displaying the Age comes with Commentary logo.

    It’s my first marriage and his second. That never bothered me. I always figured I’d marry someone older. But no one tells you what to expect. You grow up watching your parents’ marriage and think that’s the blueprint. Then you get older and see your friends’ marriages, your family’s marriages, and you realize there are about a hundred different versions. Still, no one tells you what to expect.

    And honestly, I don’t think they can. Some people stay married to the same person forever, like my parents and his. Some get married twice or more. Some cheat. Some are widowed. Some never marry at all. I’m not even adding kids into this because that’s a whole different universe. People marry young, people marry later, people marry with age gaps. Love is love is love is love.

    There’s a line from Sex and the City, I’m pretty sure it was one of the movies, that stuck with me. Charlotte gets asked if she’s happy in her marriage, and she says, “Every day. Not every moment of every day, but every day.” I’ve held onto that. Am I happy every day in my marriage? Yes. Am I happy every moment? No. And some days there’s only one moment I’m happy in my marriage, but those days are rare.

    COVID was a real test for everyone, being locked in together can test all relationships. We went through some things, like most couples did, but I think we came out stronger. One thing I’ve learned is that at the core, we’re friends. Do we need space from each other sometimes? Oh, absolutely. But at the end of the day, or week, we always come back to each other.

    And trust. We trust each other. Do we keep things from each other? Sure. Do we share the big things? Yes. Maybe not immediately, but in the end, we do share everything.

    Sometimes we have the same conversation over and over because we’re both set in our ways, but we try, and we know these conversations are like history, doomed to be repeated in slightly different ways. Because change is hard and sometimes some things are just how they are.

    Am I a marriage counselor? No. Do I have decades of marriage behind me? Also no. But I am married, and I like the idea of sharing some things, not everything, because marriage is commentary all on its own. There are times I swear we’re not in sync at all, and then out of nowhere our thoughts line up so perfectly it’s almost creepy.

    So, every now and then, I’ll share things we’ve learned or things that have helped us. Sometimes it’s just nice to put something out there to see if I’m the only one, or if maybe, just maybe, we’re not alone.

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    Choosing Conversation in a Loud World: Why Real Change Starts With How We Speak

    I’m sitting here with a glass of wine and realized something I probably need to say. Some of the topics that end up on this blog, whether they come from me or from my other half, you might not like. And that’s fine. Truly. This is my space, and I get to write what’s on my mind. In vino veritas, right? From wine comes truth.

    An open laptop on an outdoor patio table displaying the Age comes with Commentary logo.

    Depending on the day, these posts might be written with coffee, wine, or water. And the topics will be just as varied. One day it might be something heavier about the world, and the next it might be a place I’ve traveled, a product I actually use, or something I’ve experienced and think is worth sharing. If it’s here, it’s because I genuinely stand behind it.

    There are also nights when I wake up at two in the morning because a thought won’t leave me alone until I write it down. If that ever happens to you, keep a notepad or journal by the bed. I’m convinced I’ve lost some great ideas to falling back asleep.

    Anyway, here’s the point. You’re not always going to agree with what I say. Honestly, that’s a good thing. We shouldn’t all agree on everything, but we should at least be willing to listen. For example, I don’t understand cancel culture. It feels like people get canceled for breathing wrong. And for those of us who’ve been around a while, we can look back at things we said or did and think, “Well… that didn’t age well.”

    Now, if someone is genuinely awful, that’s different. Some people absolutely deserve consequences. But canceling them doesn’t fix anything. Accountability does. Justice does. And if you’re reading this years from now, I am sure you can guess the exact era I’m talking about.

    This might be an unpopular opinion, or maybe it isn’t and people just don’t say it out loud. Either way, here’s where I stand. If I write something you don’t agree with, that’s okay. You don’t have to agree with it to read it. You’re welcome to comment and share your thoughts, but do it with dignity and grace. If not, your comment won’t make it through. I’m here for conversation, not combat. There is a difference.

    It’s funny how a computer screen or a drink gives people courage they don’t have face-to-face. And while we’re on the subject, not everything needs to be filmed and posted for the world. That does not always help. If something serious happens, give it to the people who can actually do something about it. And if they don’t, then take it to the next proper authorities. A news station, or even several. The goal is to get it into the hands of people who can actually act on it, not just rack up views.

    This whole cancel-everything mindset has to stop. Bring back peaceful protest for things that actually matter. Boycotting a massive company because you disagree with them rarely changes anything. Some are simply too big to feel it. Others can be impacted, but only if you’re strategic and consistent over years, not days.

    Trends shift. Outrage shifts. But laws, state or federal, are what actually change things. And if you want something to change, that is where your voice matters. Make your voice heard in the places that shape laws, because that is where real, lasting change comes from. Meanwhile, small businesses close faster than any big chain. We talk about shopping local, but the reality doesn’t always match the slogan. I am guilty of this myself shopping big, but when I can I do aim to make purchases from a small/local business.

    So what am I trying to say? Simply this. You won’t always agree with what I post, and that’s okay. I hope you enjoy the posts and find something in them that makes you think, but my commentary is always going to follow where my heart is. Life is messy. Some topics will make you say, “No thank you,” and others will make you say, “Finally, someone said it.”

    If this blog does anything, I hope it opens your mind to interesting conversations or reminds you that you’re not alone in your thoughts. Because I’m convinced we have far more in common than we don’t.

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